Self-determination theory posits three universal psychological needs: autonomy; competence; and relatedness, and suggests that these must be ongoingly satisfied for people to maintain optimal performance and well-being.
Everyone has needs here we will see most common of them all :)
1 - CERTAINTY/COMFORT
The first human need is the need for Certainty.It’s our need to feel in control and to know what’s coming next so we can feel secure. It’s the need for basic comfort the need to avoid pain and stress, and also to create pleasure. Does this make sense? Our need for certainty is a survival mechanism. It affects how much risk we’re willing to take in life—in our jobs, in our investments, and in our relationships. The higher the need for certainty, the less risk you’ll be willing to take or emotionally bear. By the way, this is where your real “risk tolerance” comes from.But what if you’re totally certain all the time? If you knew what was going to happen, when it was going to happen, how it was going to happen. You knew what people were going to say before they said it.
How would you feel? At first you’d feel extraordinary, but eventually you’d be what? Bored out of your mind!
2 - UNCERTAINTY/VARIETY
So, God, in Her infinite wisdom, gave us a second human need, which is Uncertainty. We need variety.
We need surprise.Let me ask you a question: Do you like surprises?
If you answered “yes,” you’re kidding yourself! You like the surprises you want. The ones you don’t
want you call problems! But you still need them to put some muscle in your life. You can’t grow muscle—or
character—unless you have something to push back against.
3 - SIGNIFICANCE
The third is Significance, that basic human need thatdrove Adolf Merckle. We all need to feel important,
special, unique, or needed. So how do some of us get significance? You can get it by earning billions of dollars
or collecting academic degrees—distinguishing yourself with a master’s or a PhD. You can build a giant Twitter
following. Or you can go on The Bachelor or become one of the next Real Housewives of Orange County. Some do it by putting tattoos and piercings all over themselves and in places we don’t want to know about. You can get significance by having more or bigger problems than anybody else. “You think your husband’s a dirtbag?
Take mine for a day!” Of course, you can also get it by being more spiritual (or pretending to be). Unfortunately, one of the fastest ways to get significance—that costs no money and requires no education—is through violence.
If someone puts a gun to your head, in that instant he becomes the most significant thing in your life, right?
Spending a lot of money can make you feel significant, and so can spending very little. We all know
people who constantly brag about their bargains, or who feel special because they heat their homes with cow
manure and sunlight. Some very wealthy people gain significance by hiding their wealth. Like the late Sam
Walton, the founder of Wal-Mart and for a time the richest man in America, who drove around Bentonville,
Arkansas, in his old pickup, demonstrating he didn’t need a Bentley—but, of course, he did have his own
private fleet of jets standing by.
4 - LOVE AND CONNECTION
The fourth basic need is Love and Connection. Love is the oxygen of life; it’s what we all want and need most.
When we love completely, we feel alive, but when we lose love, the pain is so great that most people settle on
connection, the crumbs of love. You can get that sense of connection or love through intimacy, or friendship, prayer, or walking in nature. If nothing else works, you can get a dog.
These first four needs are what I call the needs of the personality. We all find ways to meet these: whether by
working harder, coming up with a big problem, or creating stories to rationalize them. The last two are the
needs of the spirit. These are more rare—not everyone meets these. When these needs are met, we truly feel
fulfilled.
5 - GROWTH
Number five is Growth. If you’re not growing, you’re what? You’re dying. If a relationship is not growing, if a
business is not growing, if you’re not growing, it doesn’t matter how much money you have in the bank, how
many friends you have, how many people love you—you’re not going to experience real fulfillment. And the
reason we grow, I believe, is so we have something of value to give.
6 - CONTRIBUTION
That’s because the sixth need is Contribution. Corny as it may sound, the secret to living is giving. Life’s
not about me; it’s about we. Think about it: What’s the first thing you do when you get good or exciting news?
You call somebody you love and share it. Sharing enhances everything you experience.
Life is really about creating meaning. And meaning does not come from what you get, it comes from what
you give. Ultimately, what you get will never make you happy long term. But who you become and what you
contribute will.
Note -
this content is inspired by a book "Money -Master the game " by Tony Robbins you can free pdf by clicking on the book name !
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